Chronic Illness and Tests

Do tests make everyone with chronic illness angry, or is it just bad ol' attitude me? 

I know I should be grateful.  Grateful for the opportunity for testing, for the chance to improve my health based on personal results.  Living somewhere where testing is accessible. Having the means to do the tests. An amazing gift.  Yet, why is there still this all-encompassing psycho rage that rears its ugly head every time my doctor orders tests?  I have to force myself to be civil and act happy, like woohoo, can't wait to see what this one tells us!  ... right. 

The last two weeks I have been in to the lab for bloodwork 3 different times, done a scan at a different clinic, and completed two different urine tests. This equates to dearest husband driving me for testing purposes 5 times in the last couple of weeks.  The whole family has to get up earlier, the morning schedule is thrown off, so he can drop me at labs before he drops the kids at school.  And then of course pick me up afterwards and be late for work himself. Work he is paid for by the hour.  Sigh. And there are still more to do.

When results come in, they are usually a disappointing combo of either normal or way off-normal.  The normal ones of course should reassure me, but instead make me mad that I wasted everyone's time (let's not even get into the money!).  Then the off-normal ones usually lead to another round of tests... or more money on more meds or more supplements... stuff I have doubts will help and may make me sick if I react to them as I often do.   And I get mad all over again. I just want to be left alone!  I don't want to try anything else!  Make it stop!  ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

I suspect the truth of the situation is that I'm simply frustrated with being sick.  Feeling at the end of my rope near the end of a long, cold, bitter winter. Wishing the money we spent on this stuff and then further required tests, meds or supplements, could be spent on something fun instead.  Wishing we could have a family vacation.  Wishing I could buy something fun for the kids or the house or go out to dinner. Wishing really for just a little break, somewhere.  A little tiny one. Anywhere??? Please???