Doing well!

This is the type of post I have read by other lyme bloggers over the course of my illness that I thought I would never perhaps be so lucky to write.  Well, it isn't exactly that post, but it's not so terribly far off to be depressing. ;)

I'm doing well!  I say it's not "exactly that post" as I can't yet make big claims like 'I'm 90% healed!'.  I still cross fingers and aspire to that day.  But right now, I'm healed enough that I am more of a participant in life than not.  The balance has swung so that I'm out of bed and living more than exhausted and in bed and wondering when I'll ever get out again.

I'm no longer out of my mind with boredom from days on end with little but the monotony of pain and fatigue to keep me company. I'm not nearly as grumpy because my head and body aren't screaming at me in that just-below-the-surface agony 24/7. They hurt, but not that bad.

It is so amazing.  I have to say I feel like I have a renewed love of life.  This state of being makes me not want to think about lyme much.  And then I wonder...

Is it a mistake not to think about lyme much when I still have so far to go?  What percentage 'healed' am I? How 'healed' do you need to be before you stop thinking about lyme so much? How do you even start to calculate where you are at anyhow???  Does anyone many years into this journey even have a clue as to what feeling 'normal person good' really feels like? 

My last post, I wrote about how I had just seen a psychic for the first time.  Well, oddly enough, I then had the opportunity to speak with another woman a week later who had medical intuition abilities.  At one point, she 'felt' inside my head and exclaimed that it was awful, the feeling in my head made her want to vomit.   I thought about it and realized yes, the feeling in my head kind of made me want to vomit too... but I mostly ignore it so I don't really notice.  It's more that I think to myself 'Erg... maybe I should sit or lie down for a bit until it subsides a little'.

All that to say, I don't think I have any chance at making an anywhere near accurate guess as to what percentage my healing is at.  However, if I HAD to say for the sake of this post... well, I'd probably say I'm at 70% better or so. 

I'm happy.  I'm making supper some days.  I'm driving my kids to swimming lessons once a week! (10 min drive, but still!). I often will do something every single day of the week taking maybe one or two days mostly in bed to recover.  I still nap every afternoon.  I still feel really bad at various points during my regular days.  But I'm living - I'm living and I absolutely love it!!!!