I haven't posted since November! Ridiculous and certainly not in the plans. Plans schmans though! If I have learned anything from this healing journey, it's not to pay too much serious attention to one's plans.
In a nutshell, December turned out to be particularly busy - no surprise there. I do my best to keep things calm and plan in lots of time for rest, but when the community around you is going crazy for the holidays there seems to be only so far you can go with this. Extra commitments all over the place. No time just for me to be sitting down, in solitude, blogging.
About 5 days before Christmas, I ended up catching the nasty flu going around. I figured, 'no problem, lots of time to take uber-good care of myself and be fine for the big day!'. I had been fighting the bug pretty successfully off and on all December, but what put me over the edge was a dinner out with friends where I got really chilled in the restaurant. I had been so careful. But it has been so stupid cold out there! The -30s C is no good for anyone.
I did NOT get better for Christmas. I did NOT get better for New Year's. I did NOT get better in time for the kids to be back in school. I'm getting closer now. Closer!
Craving to be back into my routine so much. Bored out of my mind. Lyme is bad enough. The flu plus lyme for 4 weeks ... Utter torture? Oh right, that's lyme by itself. We had to cancel almost all of our social plans. I lay on the couch, chewing garlic, with a scarf over my nose and mouth the throat pain was so bad. I steamed my head. I drank soup and tea. Non-stop for the first 10 days or so. And off and on ever since.
Luckily, the kids still had a good time. Santa came. Life is good as a kid. Even if your Mom is super lame. Thank goodness!
I can chalk it up as one of my weirdest holiday experiences ever. Hanging out with my immediate family, but not extended family. Minimal contact with friends. For 6 days I couldn't even speak. That has never happened to me in my entire life. Over Christmas it was both an incredbily frustrating yet also enlightening experience. Imagine essentially not sharing any of your thoughts for nearly a week. Over the holidays. Certainly gave me insights into our regular traditions and more ideas about how I want to authentically spend the holidays next year.
(In case you're curious: forgo cooking the bird for Christmas - hubby was in the kitchen for 8 entire hours. Usually we're distracted with having company around, but this time it was obvious how much sheer work it is for little return on a day we would prefer to be hanging out, relaxing, nurturing ourselves. We'll figure out a vegan lasagne or such that can be prepared in advance next year. Maybe do a turkey in January or a few weeks before the holidays so we still get the good bone broth and turkey soup out of it. Less baking. We did some gluten-free, sugar-free, nutrient-dense baking but it was still too many goodies on hand. Hubby and I are both still suffering from the indulgences. Enough for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Years would be perfect. More nurturing and relaxation in the month leading up to the holidays. More of it during the holidays too. How can I turn the Christmas holidays into a time of rest and renewal and reflection during the darkest time of the year? Spa days... ? Good thing I have a year to think about it!)
After all of that, I find I'm clueless as to where I'm at with lyme. Clueless and a little angry! Just finishing up my Samento/Banderol rotation. The one I have been looking forward to for months. The one I feel the best ever on thus far. And it's gone. Lost in the chaos of the flu. Probably a good thing that I wasn't herxing to the max while fighting the virus. But I was looking forward to feeling good for a bit. Pretending I'm more on the normal end of the scale than the sicko one.
Maybe next time.
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