another week another couple of drops

This week I have gratitude for myself.  For the 'staying power' I somehow summon up to keep on keeping on in this grand old healing from chronic lyme disease journey.

I have gratitude for all the other people out there who are courageously keeping on in their own journeys too.  People with chronic lyme, people with other chronic illnesses, people with entirely different issues that are challenging them beyond what they ever dreamed they would have to handle.  Yet handle it we do.  All inspirational.  And I'll take all the inspiration I can get. :)

I've now hit 27 drops of the houttunyia/enula.  Yippee. (Sarcasm, yes).  And despite that I've been going at this for over a month, I've decided to keep going until I hit the 30 drops I was supposed to start the rotation with. (!) Hoping to achieve this in another week or so.  Which makes me realize that I had better up the dosage to 28 drops this afternoon.  (Sipping my 27 drop before-lunch concoction right now as I type...). 

Oh joy, joy, joy.

So... it has really not been fun.  Is it always this horrendous??!! (I think it probably is... and then I conveniently, or more likely lyme-brain-foggily, forget how bad it has been until I hit the same rotation again) 

This rotation is not getting easier.  I am not sleeping well.  I get red faced and chills and generally gross feeling in the evenings. My head is foggy nearly all the time and it hurts too.  My eyesight is worse. My eyes are more tired.  Harder to read when I'm lying in bed. I'm having nightmares. 

I'm taking the Cowden protocol's Zeolyte HP for heavy metal detox too - every third night - and that often is what puts me over the edge both symptom and nightmare-wise.  The last dose I dreamt about being chased and slashed with a knife.  Over and over again to all different parts of my body.  I would wake up, realize I was dreaming, and fall back asleep and keep dreaming the same dream.  Erg.

The light at the end of the tunnel here is that my next rotation is Samento and Banderol.  Ooooo hooo hooo!  If I have a chance of feeling good on any of the antimicrobials, Samento/Banderol are the ticket!  AND... bonus of bonuses... it should coincide with the Christmas holidays.  How nice would that be to have a chance at feeling a bit better while my kiddos and dear hub are off for the holidays.