This week I have gratitude for myself. For the 'staying power' I somehow summon up to keep on keeping on in this grand old healing from chronic lyme disease journey.
I have gratitude for all the other people out there who are courageously keeping on in their own journeys too. People with chronic lyme, people with other chronic illnesses, people with entirely different issues that are challenging them beyond what they ever dreamed they would have to handle. Yet handle it we do. All inspirational. And I'll take all the inspiration I can get. :)
I've now hit 27 drops of the houttunyia/enula. Yippee. (Sarcasm, yes). And despite that I've been going at this for over a month, I've decided to keep going until I hit the 30 drops I was supposed to start the rotation with. (!) Hoping to achieve this in another week or so. Which makes me realize that I had better up the dosage to 28 drops this afternoon. (Sipping my 27 drop before-lunch concoction right now as I type...).
Oh joy, joy, joy.
So... it has really not been fun. Is it always this horrendous??!! (I think it probably is... and then I conveniently, or more likely lyme-brain-foggily, forget how bad it has been until I hit the same rotation again)
This rotation is not getting easier. I am not sleeping well. I get red faced and chills and generally gross feeling in the evenings. My head is foggy nearly all the time and it hurts too. My eyesight is worse. My eyes are more tired. Harder to read when I'm lying in bed. I'm having nightmares.
I'm taking the Cowden protocol's Zeolyte HP for heavy metal detox too - every third night - and that often is what puts me over the edge both symptom and nightmare-wise. The last dose I dreamt about being chased and slashed with a knife. Over and over again to all different parts of my body. I would wake up, realize I was dreaming, and fall back asleep and keep dreaming the same dream. Erg.
The light at the end of the tunnel here is that my next rotation is Samento and Banderol. Ooooo hooo hooo! If I have a chance of feeling good on any of the antimicrobials, Samento/Banderol are the ticket! AND... bonus of bonuses... it should coincide with the Christmas holidays. How nice would that be to have a chance at feeling a bit better while my kiddos and dear hub are off for the holidays.
Showing posts with label houttunyia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label houttunyia. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
you never really know
So here I am a month in on my houttunyia/enula rotation. And it's been tough. I've just hit 25 drops (started at 20). I haven't been sleeping well, there has been indigestion. Belching - ugh! My intestines feel out of whack. And I am going SLOW. My brain fog is up and my fatigue is higher than the previous month. I want to cry a lot. I feel down and of course everything then feels harder.
Then two nights ago, I went to bed feeling okay, and actually slept through the entire night! Without waking up 2 hours after falling asleep.... like I regularly do because of discomfort throughout my body.
So why the shift? I don't really know - it could have been a fluke. It could be that my body is finally getting used to this rotation and not reacting as badly. That happens with time. However... I am a little extra curious... as I am doing an exchange with a friend of a friend. I'm helping her with Nutrition and she is giving me Access Consciousness sessions. She 'ran the bars' for me for my first time ever on the day I slept through the night. I have done a lot of energy work in the past - some learning myself and I have also gone for various treatments. Reiki, reconnection, allergy energy work, Chinese medicine, etc. This one was a new one for me me. And it felt a bit different. Very light and gentle.
At the end of the session I did not feel profoundly different - although definitely 'lighter' and happier. I smiled for a long time afterwards. (Which was great in contrast to the 12 hours I had spent pretty much non-stop crying a couple of days before that!!!).
So yes, the night after my Access Consciousness session is the night I slept through. And then I had a good day afterwards. I even cleaned out closets and decluttered - AFTER dinner! I never have energy like that after dinner. I ended up red faced and feeling a bit woozy - as usual. But I did it. It felt great.
Then I went to bed last night, had trouble falling asleep, did not feel well at all while trying to fall asleep (itching like there were bugs all over me, general aches, chills and discomfort) and I did not sleep well again - woke a few times feeling gross. So back to the regular ol' houttunyia/enula rotation pattern. Weird.
I'm really interested to see if the next time I have an energy session I see such a difference again.
Then two nights ago, I went to bed feeling okay, and actually slept through the entire night! Without waking up 2 hours after falling asleep.... like I regularly do because of discomfort throughout my body.
So why the shift? I don't really know - it could have been a fluke. It could be that my body is finally getting used to this rotation and not reacting as badly. That happens with time. However... I am a little extra curious... as I am doing an exchange with a friend of a friend. I'm helping her with Nutrition and she is giving me Access Consciousness sessions. She 'ran the bars' for me for my first time ever on the day I slept through the night. I have done a lot of energy work in the past - some learning myself and I have also gone for various treatments. Reiki, reconnection, allergy energy work, Chinese medicine, etc. This one was a new one for me me. And it felt a bit different. Very light and gentle.
At the end of the session I did not feel profoundly different - although definitely 'lighter' and happier. I smiled for a long time afterwards. (Which was great in contrast to the 12 hours I had spent pretty much non-stop crying a couple of days before that!!!).
So yes, the night after my Access Consciousness session is the night I slept through. And then I had a good day afterwards. I even cleaned out closets and decluttered - AFTER dinner! I never have energy like that after dinner. I ended up red faced and feeling a bit woozy - as usual. But I did it. It felt great.
Then I went to bed last night, had trouble falling asleep, did not feel well at all while trying to fall asleep (itching like there were bugs all over me, general aches, chills and discomfort) and I did not sleep well again - woke a few times feeling gross. So back to the regular ol' houttunyia/enula rotation pattern. Weird.
I'm really interested to see if the next time I have an energy session I see such a difference again.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Happy Halloween :)
I've switched to my Houttunyia/Enula rotation and it is kicking my butt a bit. On just 20 drops. But this is always my roughest rotation so I'm not shocked. Feels like I'm on Benadryl and Red Bull at the same time. Exhausted but strung out. Feeling drunk in my head when I attempt to converse with anyone. Oh well. So be it.
Nevertheless, I've been on this rotation a few days now and it's getting a little less intense. Managed a good nap yesterday and a wee one today (unlike the days/nights before - exhausted but pounding heart/wired feeling). And then yesterday, on Halloween, I made dinner and was also able to totally enjoy handing out candy to all the trick-or-treaters. Chatted with parents, stood outside and watched the wonder of the night... beautiful, normal-people kind of stuff.
Two hours of trick-or-treaters at the door later, dear hubby and youngest daughter got home lugging a boatload of candy. This child had never lasted so long in previous years - so she was pretty proud and pretty pumped. The three of us took some time to catch up on each others' nights and then I ventured out for a little walk. Time to enjoy all the decorations and cool jack-o-lantern carvings myself!
I strolled slowly around our block, appreciating the Halloween enthusiasm clearly expressed in the neighbourhood, and even had a good chat with a woman I hadn't seen in a few months along the way.
Shortly after I arrived home, my eldest was dropped off - she had been trick-or-treating with her friends in another neighbourhood. So the mom and I caught up a bit, standing on the front porch in the beautiful night. It was close to 9pm at this point - and I was still standing!
All in all, I didn't get to bed til around 10:30 and then was too wired to sleep - a combo of everything that went on, but mostly the potent houttunyia! I finally was able to fall asleep around midnight.
I was tired this morning, but okay. Really okay.
I like this soooooo much! My hope is high these days! I may not be out of the woods, but I don't feel like I'm hopelessly lost in the scariest, darkest bits of it any longer. Lyme can still frighten the pants off me if I think about it enough, but I'm focusing way too much on living to care right now.
Nevertheless, I've been on this rotation a few days now and it's getting a little less intense. Managed a good nap yesterday and a wee one today (unlike the days/nights before - exhausted but pounding heart/wired feeling). And then yesterday, on Halloween, I made dinner and was also able to totally enjoy handing out candy to all the trick-or-treaters. Chatted with parents, stood outside and watched the wonder of the night... beautiful, normal-people kind of stuff.
Two hours of trick-or-treaters at the door later, dear hubby and youngest daughter got home lugging a boatload of candy. This child had never lasted so long in previous years - so she was pretty proud and pretty pumped. The three of us took some time to catch up on each others' nights and then I ventured out for a little walk. Time to enjoy all the decorations and cool jack-o-lantern carvings myself!
I strolled slowly around our block, appreciating the Halloween enthusiasm clearly expressed in the neighbourhood, and even had a good chat with a woman I hadn't seen in a few months along the way.
Shortly after I arrived home, my eldest was dropped off - she had been trick-or-treating with her friends in another neighbourhood. So the mom and I caught up a bit, standing on the front porch in the beautiful night. It was close to 9pm at this point - and I was still standing!
All in all, I didn't get to bed til around 10:30 and then was too wired to sleep - a combo of everything that went on, but mostly the potent houttunyia! I finally was able to fall asleep around midnight.
I was tired this morning, but okay. Really okay.
I like this soooooo much! My hope is high these days! I may not be out of the woods, but I don't feel like I'm hopelessly lost in the scariest, darkest bits of it any longer. Lyme can still frighten the pants off me if I think about it enough, but I'm focusing way too much on living to care right now.
Friday, August 2, 2013
Still going... and being made fun of
Well, a week later and I'm still going on the 30 drops of the houttunyia and enula. And herxing in a way that's turning me into more of a cray cray person than I usually am. It's not nice. It's making me mad. Why am I still herxing so bad?????????
But... in all this awful sick-o madness, I can still find some gratitude. Gratitude that I have been well enough - for long enough - to even be able to feel the difference.
I used to feel this bad all the time. Tired, bone tired, like my head is a massive boulder tired and my body cannot be pried out of bed no matter how hard I try. "Sick tired"! (LOVE this post on 'sick tired' - describes tick borne illness fatigue incredibly well!) I actually used to feel much worse than this. So, it's super fantabulous good news really. (I remind myself of this frequently!)
But my attitude in general is extra pissy! Dear hubbie came home from work the other day and my daughter told him, eying me up sideways, "She has been like this all day! Complaining, whining. I feel so bad. I'm so tired. I have to lie down. AGAIN!". She was right on the money about it all too. In my defense, I felt I held it together pretty well for getting them fed, out the door when I needed to, etc, etc. All the little things you do that add up quickly to hours of work but that your kids don't even notice. However, in between all that, I may just have complained several times. It was actually pretty funny how she called me on it.
(HA! I also have gratitude for when my kids make fun of me!!!)
However, it's been a month and a half on the same freakin' rotation and here I am herxing and herxing. Up all night for a couple of nights in a row now too. That twitchy bugs-crawling-all-over-you restless but exhausted feeling lasting until the wee hours of the morning. Finally falling into blessed sleep only to have to awaken a couple of hours later to start up on all the sweet meds that are doing this to me... yet again.
Healing me. Healing me!
Anyhow, there it is. I am grumpy. I am sick tired. I am in need of an attitude change apparently. My family is once again out enjoying the summer without me because I'm too sick to pull myself out of bed for any length of time. (See, whiny lady!!)
There is that gratitude though. And I'm a little proud of myself too. Proud of how I went through literally years of feeling this bad (worse) while sucking it up as much as possible and pushing through with a postive attitude for the most part. Between the hours filled with worries and fear. Learning to keep faith. Learning to look at this minute, not the future. Remembering to look at what I have now - and what I can do with that - versus looking at what I think I may have lost.
So, once again, I will not focus on the boredom or frustration, but will consciously relax as much as my anxious and twitchy body will let me. Into the soft bed. Into the pillows. Breathing into the tight muscles and letting go of the headaches and body aches. I will enjoy the peace and quiet of a house to myself. Look forward to the stories brought back to me from the world by my family.
But... in all this awful sick-o madness, I can still find some gratitude. Gratitude that I have been well enough - for long enough - to even be able to feel the difference.
I used to feel this bad all the time. Tired, bone tired, like my head is a massive boulder tired and my body cannot be pried out of bed no matter how hard I try. "Sick tired"! (LOVE this post on 'sick tired' - describes tick borne illness fatigue incredibly well!) I actually used to feel much worse than this. So, it's super fantabulous good news really. (I remind myself of this frequently!)
But my attitude in general is extra pissy! Dear hubbie came home from work the other day and my daughter told him, eying me up sideways, "She has been like this all day! Complaining, whining. I feel so bad. I'm so tired. I have to lie down. AGAIN!". She was right on the money about it all too. In my defense, I felt I held it together pretty well for getting them fed, out the door when I needed to, etc, etc. All the little things you do that add up quickly to hours of work but that your kids don't even notice. However, in between all that, I may just have complained several times. It was actually pretty funny how she called me on it.
(HA! I also have gratitude for when my kids make fun of me!!!)
However, it's been a month and a half on the same freakin' rotation and here I am herxing and herxing. Up all night for a couple of nights in a row now too. That twitchy bugs-crawling-all-over-you restless but exhausted feeling lasting until the wee hours of the morning. Finally falling into blessed sleep only to have to awaken a couple of hours later to start up on all the sweet meds that are doing this to me... yet again.
Healing me. Healing me!
Anyhow, there it is. I am grumpy. I am sick tired. I am in need of an attitude change apparently. My family is once again out enjoying the summer without me because I'm too sick to pull myself out of bed for any length of time. (See, whiny lady!!)
There is that gratitude though. And I'm a little proud of myself too. Proud of how I went through literally years of feeling this bad (worse) while sucking it up as much as possible and pushing through with a postive attitude for the most part. Between the hours filled with worries and fear. Learning to keep faith. Learning to look at this minute, not the future. Remembering to look at what I have now - and what I can do with that - versus looking at what I think I may have lost.
So, once again, I will not focus on the boredom or frustration, but will consciously relax as much as my anxious and twitchy body will let me. Into the soft bed. Into the pillows. Breathing into the tight muscles and letting go of the headaches and body aches. I will enjoy the peace and quiet of a house to myself. Look forward to the stories brought back to me from the world by my family.
Friday, July 26, 2013
maybe too fast, but I did it
Since I wrote a week and a half ago, I have increased my Cowden drops from 28 to 29 drops. And then again, on the full moon, to 30. I have read that a full moon really brings out the spirochetes and that it is hence a great time to blast them with antimicrobials. My ssymptoms flared up with the appearance of the full moon anyhow - so, with fear in my heart, I went for it.
I wasn't actually that scared. It was more like dread. After two and a half years of this, I don't like big herxes. The first two years, I herxed almost non-stop. I think it was necessary - I was that sick. And I needed to blast the bugs to make progress. Now, I continue to make progress, but I've slowed down the blasting rate. I could be at this, treating this disease, for several more years to come. (And I don't want to think about it if it will actually be for the rest of my life, so I don't - one day at a time!). And if I can help it, I don't want to be so super sick from the herxing on top of everything the lyme and bartonella are already throwing at me.
So increasing to 30 drops that quickly did end up making me herx. Badly enough that I had tongue and throat swelling by noon for the last few days, difficulty speaking clearly, massive brain fog, pain, that feeling of bugs crawling all over your skin, exhaustion, irritability, headaches. And hives. It's summer and my arms and face do not look pretty right now.
But this is consistently my toughest rotation - the houttunyia and enula - and now I'm finally at the desired 30 drop dosage. I made it! I'll go for another week or so and then switch to my next rotation. Samento and Banderol on the horizon. I'm excited. I'll be vacationing in August (staycationing is more like it!) and Samento and Banderol are the meds I've been on the longest. And that I feel my best on. Hooray!
Looking forward to it.
I wasn't actually that scared. It was more like dread. After two and a half years of this, I don't like big herxes. The first two years, I herxed almost non-stop. I think it was necessary - I was that sick. And I needed to blast the bugs to make progress. Now, I continue to make progress, but I've slowed down the blasting rate. I could be at this, treating this disease, for several more years to come. (And I don't want to think about it if it will actually be for the rest of my life, so I don't - one day at a time!). And if I can help it, I don't want to be so super sick from the herxing on top of everything the lyme and bartonella are already throwing at me.
So increasing to 30 drops that quickly did end up making me herx. Badly enough that I had tongue and throat swelling by noon for the last few days, difficulty speaking clearly, massive brain fog, pain, that feeling of bugs crawling all over your skin, exhaustion, irritability, headaches. And hives. It's summer and my arms and face do not look pretty right now.
But this is consistently my toughest rotation - the houttunyia and enula - and now I'm finally at the desired 30 drop dosage. I made it! I'll go for another week or so and then switch to my next rotation. Samento and Banderol on the horizon. I'm excited. I'll be vacationing in August (staycationing is more like it!) and Samento and Banderol are the meds I've been on the longest. And that I feel my best on. Hooray!
Looking forward to it.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
fabulous biking, no progress on the drops
Here I am almost a week after my last post and I have not been able to increase my Cowden antimicrobial rotation drops at all. I'm still at 28 drops!
Symptoms seem a bit stronger than earlier too. But I'm not sure. How can you be sure when there are so many symptoms in your body and they are so strong, yet so subtle. I say 'subtle' because I am convinced I ignore most of what is going on symptom-wise most of the time. This isn't to say that I don't take care of my body (+ mind + spirit!) in the absolute best way I know how on any given day. But if I focused on the symptoms, I have little doubt that I would go out of my mind with frustration and suffering.
On second thought, I may have actually already gone out of my mind with frustration and suffering even without focusing on them. HA!
Anyhow, is a week at 28 drops okay???? Am I doing this wrong????? When will I feel well enough, confident enough, to increase again? How many freaking weeks will it take me to get to 30 drops???? I can't know. So I just keep moving forward (or not, HA again!) day by day. We have been on short little bike rides every day or two. Still 100% in love with it. I can only ride on smooth pathways - bumpy roads are agonizing. But we live near a gorgeous bike path next to a river. So, how about that awesomeness??!! Lucky. But what I mean to say when I talk about the bike is that maybe it's not the 28 drops, but rather the new activity that is keeping me at this level of meds. Maybe it's a combo. Maybe the biking has nothing to do with it. Again, who knows?
Grateful for the tandem bike loan. Grateful for the bike path. Grateful I have a husband who is willing to do all the work on the bike - essentially towing me along until someday I have regained the endurance, strength, balance and judgement to be able to ride on my own again. Grateful I can bike alongside the kids for the first time in half of their lives. Grateful that it doesn't matter if I ever get that well again - I can still bike!
And hoping that these days of 28 drops on Houttunyia and Enula are doing great, great things in my body.
Symptoms seem a bit stronger than earlier too. But I'm not sure. How can you be sure when there are so many symptoms in your body and they are so strong, yet so subtle. I say 'subtle' because I am convinced I ignore most of what is going on symptom-wise most of the time. This isn't to say that I don't take care of my body (+ mind + spirit!) in the absolute best way I know how on any given day. But if I focused on the symptoms, I have little doubt that I would go out of my mind with frustration and suffering.
On second thought, I may have actually already gone out of my mind with frustration and suffering even without focusing on them. HA!
Anyhow, is a week at 28 drops okay???? Am I doing this wrong????? When will I feel well enough, confident enough, to increase again? How many freaking weeks will it take me to get to 30 drops???? I can't know. So I just keep moving forward (or not, HA again!) day by day. We have been on short little bike rides every day or two. Still 100% in love with it. I can only ride on smooth pathways - bumpy roads are agonizing. But we live near a gorgeous bike path next to a river. So, how about that awesomeness??!! Lucky. But what I mean to say when I talk about the bike is that maybe it's not the 28 drops, but rather the new activity that is keeping me at this level of meds. Maybe it's a combo. Maybe the biking has nothing to do with it. Again, who knows?
Grateful for the tandem bike loan. Grateful for the bike path. Grateful I have a husband who is willing to do all the work on the bike - essentially towing me along until someday I have regained the endurance, strength, balance and judgement to be able to ride on my own again. Grateful I can bike alongside the kids for the first time in half of their lives. Grateful that it doesn't matter if I ever get that well again - I can still bike!
And hoping that these days of 28 drops on Houttunyia and Enula are doing great, great things in my body.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
A little bit of biking!
Here I am - nearly a week since my last post, and I have just increased my Houttunyia and Enula dosages to 28 drops today. This means it took me a full week to go from 26 to 28 drops. It's slow. But I'm living a little bit. :)
The kids were at the Grandparent's place for three days last weekend. That meant hubbie and I had some free time together - wooeee, baby! I love my kids, but oh do I also love the freedom of not having that responsibility once in awhile too.
So, we packed in the frugal, uber-relaxed fun. What do other lymies do for fun? We are on a super tight budget, so spending in any big way is out - no shopping sprees, expensive dinners, movies and popcorn, hotel mini-vacations, spa days, etc. And of course my fatigue and brain fog are huge still too (much better, but huge compared to a healthy person). So we can't hike or run or zip line or anything like that either.
We ended up going to the beach for a wee walk in the water - just up to our ankles. Heaven feeling the sand under my feet! Water is super grounding for me too. Then we sat on the beach for a long time. Chatting and chilling. We did actually go to dinner too. But we tend to go to an organic, vegetarian place where you pay by weight. So I get a LOT of salads. Which I enjoy because I rarely have the energy to make these at home - a real treat. And the food is actually safe for me to eat at this place. We also went for a little walk around a downtown neighbourhood (my husband drove us there in the car). We both love the architecture of the old houses as well as the lush, full gardens and mature trees in these types of neighbourhoods. Inspiring. Tried to watch a movie one evening at home but we were too tired. The evening before we went to a movie out - a real movie at the cinema! This isn't in the budget, but we ask for movie gift certificates for birthdays and Christmas gifts. A total mini-break from reality.
So these are our date night ideas... walks, a cheap and healthy bit of food out, nature that is close-by, a movie treat. Sometimes we people watch too. Sit on a bench in a busy area and just hang out. Pretty fabulous considering I spent over a year primarily in bed and in pain, but I still wouldn't mind more ideas.
(And of course all of this fun - with ample resting in between mind you! - resulted in the worst symptoms I have seen in awhile. Major word slurring, brain fog, more body pain, etc. But I didn't care!)
I need to get to the coolest part of this post though! We ended up at an end-of-school party for the kids near the end of June. The host family happened to be a car-free family with a bunch of bikes. Hubbie and I had previously played around with the idea of getting a tandem bike - so I could sit at the back, barely peddle, and not have to balance or steer. I miss biking with my family! We searched for a bit on kijiji, but quickly realized that tandem bikes are pricey - way out of our budget. And we didn't even know if I could actually do it. Well, this generous family were going out of town on vacation and have just lent us a tandem bike for a few weeks! We went for our first bike ride two nights ago. The first time I have biked in literally years.
I adored it. Do you remember how it feels to bike? I don't even remember what it feels like to walk without pain - never mind run, or swim, or jump... We went for a 20 minute ride. It was scary and a little painful, but mostly massively awesome. I could cry with the joy. It's hard to absorb, it's that great.
Right now, for the record, I can walk for about 20 minutes on a usual, 'good' day. And I'm sore, and sometimes feel like my ankles will give out, but I do it. Riding in a car as a passenger - with pillows beneath and behind me - has the pain start at about 40 minutes into the drive. At an hour it gets bad. If the road is bumpy (Ontario roads!) I end up in tears from the pain.
So being able to bike - just for a little bit - feels like a miracle. Gratitude for little miracles!
The kids were at the Grandparent's place for three days last weekend. That meant hubbie and I had some free time together - wooeee, baby! I love my kids, but oh do I also love the freedom of not having that responsibility once in awhile too.
So, we packed in the frugal, uber-relaxed fun. What do other lymies do for fun? We are on a super tight budget, so spending in any big way is out - no shopping sprees, expensive dinners, movies and popcorn, hotel mini-vacations, spa days, etc. And of course my fatigue and brain fog are huge still too (much better, but huge compared to a healthy person). So we can't hike or run or zip line or anything like that either.
We ended up going to the beach for a wee walk in the water - just up to our ankles. Heaven feeling the sand under my feet! Water is super grounding for me too. Then we sat on the beach for a long time. Chatting and chilling. We did actually go to dinner too. But we tend to go to an organic, vegetarian place where you pay by weight. So I get a LOT of salads. Which I enjoy because I rarely have the energy to make these at home - a real treat. And the food is actually safe for me to eat at this place. We also went for a little walk around a downtown neighbourhood (my husband drove us there in the car). We both love the architecture of the old houses as well as the lush, full gardens and mature trees in these types of neighbourhoods. Inspiring. Tried to watch a movie one evening at home but we were too tired. The evening before we went to a movie out - a real movie at the cinema! This isn't in the budget, but we ask for movie gift certificates for birthdays and Christmas gifts. A total mini-break from reality.
So these are our date night ideas... walks, a cheap and healthy bit of food out, nature that is close-by, a movie treat. Sometimes we people watch too. Sit on a bench in a busy area and just hang out. Pretty fabulous considering I spent over a year primarily in bed and in pain, but I still wouldn't mind more ideas.
(And of course all of this fun - with ample resting in between mind you! - resulted in the worst symptoms I have seen in awhile. Major word slurring, brain fog, more body pain, etc. But I didn't care!)
I need to get to the coolest part of this post though! We ended up at an end-of-school party for the kids near the end of June. The host family happened to be a car-free family with a bunch of bikes. Hubbie and I had previously played around with the idea of getting a tandem bike - so I could sit at the back, barely peddle, and not have to balance or steer. I miss biking with my family! We searched for a bit on kijiji, but quickly realized that tandem bikes are pricey - way out of our budget. And we didn't even know if I could actually do it. Well, this generous family were going out of town on vacation and have just lent us a tandem bike for a few weeks! We went for our first bike ride two nights ago. The first time I have biked in literally years.
I adored it. Do you remember how it feels to bike? I don't even remember what it feels like to walk without pain - never mind run, or swim, or jump... We went for a 20 minute ride. It was scary and a little painful, but mostly massively awesome. I could cry with the joy. It's hard to absorb, it's that great.
Right now, for the record, I can walk for about 20 minutes on a usual, 'good' day. And I'm sore, and sometimes feel like my ankles will give out, but I do it. Riding in a car as a passenger - with pillows beneath and behind me - has the pain start at about 40 minutes into the drive. At an hour it gets bad. If the road is bumpy (Ontario roads!) I end up in tears from the pain.
So being able to bike - just for a little bit - feels like a miracle. Gratitude for little miracles!
Friday, July 5, 2013
Summer heat and the best Houttunyia/Enula rotation ever
It's been warm warm weather the last several days and I am in love with it. Temps have been close to 30 degrees with a humidex closer to 40. It feels so good to my body. I'm not bundled up in a tonne of layers all the time - and still freezing.
I'm also doing fabulously well on this Cowden rotation! As I mentioned in my last post, the Houttunyia and Enula are usually my roughest rotation. Not usually actually - always. I've just hit 26 drops and am feeling pretty decent. Relatively speaking of course.
The agitation and wanting to hyperventilate feelings seem to have passed for the most part too. I don't feel completely settled and grounded, but it's way better. I can nap more easily again. My energy is such that I do have to sit and lie down for brief periods in the late afternoons and evenings, but not so bad that I'm in bed from dinner onwards. I don't even want to be.
It's blowing-my-mind incredible. :)
So there is my update - I'm doing the best I have done in years and the hot weather is probably helping too. My only concern centers around thoughts that perhaps I am going too slow on this rotation - taking too much time to ramp up the dosage. I need to get to 30 drops and I'm already at 24 days. If I followed the Protocol directions perfectly I would already be on my next antimicrobial rotation.
But that's what I have done for over 2 years. And herxed like crazy the whole time. My LLMD says I can try this as long as I still keep getting better. I don't know how long it will take to know. Willing to give it a few months to experiment though.
I'm also doing fabulously well on this Cowden rotation! As I mentioned in my last post, the Houttunyia and Enula are usually my roughest rotation. Not usually actually - always. I've just hit 26 drops and am feeling pretty decent. Relatively speaking of course.
The agitation and wanting to hyperventilate feelings seem to have passed for the most part too. I don't feel completely settled and grounded, but it's way better. I can nap more easily again. My energy is such that I do have to sit and lie down for brief periods in the late afternoons and evenings, but not so bad that I'm in bed from dinner onwards. I don't even want to be.
It's blowing-my-mind incredible. :)
So there is my update - I'm doing the best I have done in years and the hot weather is probably helping too. My only concern centers around thoughts that perhaps I am going too slow on this rotation - taking too much time to ramp up the dosage. I need to get to 30 drops and I'm already at 24 days. If I followed the Protocol directions perfectly I would already be on my next antimicrobial rotation.
But that's what I have done for over 2 years. And herxed like crazy the whole time. My LLMD says I can try this as long as I still keep getting better. I don't know how long it will take to know. Willing to give it a few months to experiment though.
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