you never really know

So here I am a month in on my houttunyia/enula rotation.  And it's been tough.  I've just hit 25 drops (started at 20).  I haven't been sleeping well, there has been indigestion.  Belching - ugh! My intestines feel out of whack.  And I am going SLOW.  My brain fog is up and my fatigue is higher than the previous month.  I want to cry a lot.  I feel down and of course everything then feels harder.

Then two nights ago, I went to bed feeling okay, and actually slept through the entire night!  Without waking up 2 hours after falling asleep.... like I regularly do because of discomfort throughout my body. 

So why the shift?  I don't really know - it could have been a fluke.  It could be that my body is finally getting used to this rotation and not reacting as badly.  That happens with time. However... I am a little extra curious... as I am doing an exchange with a friend of a friend.  I'm helping her with Nutrition and she is giving me Access Consciousness sessions.  She 'ran the bars' for me for my first time ever on the day I slept through the night. I have done a lot of energy work in the past - some learning myself and I have also gone for various treatments.  Reiki, reconnection, allergy energy work, Chinese medicine, etc.  This one was a new one for me me.  And it felt a bit different.  Very light and gentle.

At the end of the session I did not feel profoundly different - although definitely 'lighter' and happier.  I smiled for a long time afterwards.  (Which was great in contrast to the 12 hours I had spent pretty much non-stop crying a couple of days before that!!!).

So yes, the night after my Access Consciousness session is the night I slept through.  And then I had a good day afterwards.  I even cleaned out closets and decluttered - AFTER dinner!  I never have energy like that after dinner.  I ended up red faced and feeling a bit woozy - as usual.  But I did it.  It felt great.

Then I went to bed last night, had trouble falling asleep, did not feel well at all while trying to fall asleep (itching like there were bugs all over me, general aches, chills and discomfort) and I did not sleep well again - woke a few times feeling gross.  So back to the regular ol' houttunyia/enula rotation pattern.  Weird.

I'm really interested to see if the next time I have an energy session I see such a difference again.

Out of town guests when you're sick

Hubbie and I slept in a few extra minutes this weekend morn, but there's not much sleeping in to be had when there are rounds of meds to be taken. And when your best energy is first thing in the morning. I wanted to get up and properly nourish myself and then make both breakfast and dinner so my guests would be properly taken care of, for today.

Well, more or less.

What do you do when you're chronically ill and there are guests to be entertained and cared for? I default to making sure they are fed, and then chat as much as I can, while resting in between. This works out okay... I hope.  I'm okay.  I'm too tired but I cope. I am so grateful to have people who love us take the time out of their schedules to travel and hang out with us. I end up feeling guilty about being a poor hostess though. Who goes back to bed right after their guests have risen for the day and been fed breakfast? It feels weird.

I'm working on acceptance and losing the guilt. It's far from how I would ideally entertain, but it's pretty darn great for our current circumstances. Which means it is perfect for today. Not so different for someone who isn't ill and is hosting. You do your best and let love take care of the rest.