getting better at balance with lyme

I haven't posted in a week because life has been so busy.  What is it with kids and June?  All the school's-almost-out activities and last minute To Do's.  And everyone with a summer birthday cramming their party into June.  Don't get me wrong.  It's a fun month.  But wow, we are ready to slow down.  2 weeks to go!

I ended up coming out of that last herx and doing really well last weekend.  So well that I was out wandering around an outdoor street festival in our neighbourhood for 2 hours on Sunday with my fam.  And then I walked home!  At a normal pace!  It's only a 20 minute walk, but I hobbled at a snail's pace when I attempted the same thing a year ago.

Bonus was that I didn't feel like going straight to bed when I got home!  No spinning head, no aching body.  Well, a tiny bit.  But not enough that I was anywhere near the state where I could no longer handle standing or sitting upright.  I actually made lunch for my family after sitting outside in the hammock to regroup.  LOVE this. 

I think this is evidence my 'go slow' idea with the Cowden drops is working. I have a doctor's appointment next week and will discuss it with her.  I'd love to keep it up if it won't impede healing progress. Can you imagine a life of healing so much more bearable and, heaven forbid, fun along the way?  I dare to dream.

This last week has been a bit up and down in terms of herxes.  I've actually had an activity booked for every day.  From a 2 hour tea to a track and field meet for my kid to a dog training session for my unruly pup.  So nothing more than a couple of hours per day for the most part.  And I'm still napping daily.  I'm stronger and less fatigued and hence my activity level is up.  I haven't figured out how to balance my body quite right though.  Going in and out of herxing and I think maybe I don't need to... 

Yesterday was terrible. I actually ran out of the Cowden drops for my current rotation (Cumanda and Mora).  Poor planning! ACK!  So I did an early 'in between day' where I am off the antimicrobial drops and only on the herbal detox drops.  I usually look forward to and cherish these days as I feel so good on them - no herxing.  Well, clearly I had messed up my balance as I had a lot of fatigue, tongue and throat swelling, headache, plus general malaise going on.  My only conclusion is that it had to be the stress of the busy week.

Proof right there that this balancing act with lyme isn't easy.  My friend likened it to walking a tightrope - the smallest thing can knock you right off. 

Will keep practice getting better at it though - this is life right?  Everyone, lymie or not, has to come to know their own bodies and spirits deeply so as to keep that delicate balance of enough rest, enough play, enough nourishment - all on a daily basis.  Lyme just takes the whole deal up a notch - keeping us on our toes.

Out of town guests when you're sick

Hubbie and I slept in a few extra minutes this weekend morn, but there's not much sleeping in to be had when there are rounds of meds to be taken. And when your best energy is first thing in the morning. I wanted to get up and properly nourish myself and then make both breakfast and dinner so my guests would be properly taken care of, for today.

Well, more or less.

What do you do when you're chronically ill and there are guests to be entertained and cared for? I default to making sure they are fed, and then chat as much as I can, while resting in between. This works out okay... I hope.  I'm okay.  I'm too tired but I cope. I am so grateful to have people who love us take the time out of their schedules to travel and hang out with us. I end up feeling guilty about being a poor hostess though. Who goes back to bed right after their guests have risen for the day and been fed breakfast? It feels weird.

I'm working on acceptance and losing the guilt. It's far from how I would ideally entertain, but it's pretty darn great for our current circumstances. Which means it is perfect for today. Not so different for someone who isn't ill and is hosting. You do your best and let love take care of the rest.