A little bit of biking!

Here I am - nearly a week since my last post, and I have just increased my Houttunyia and Enula dosages to 28 drops today.  This means it took me a full week to go from 26 to 28 drops.  It's slow.  But I'm living a little bit. :)

The kids were at the Grandparent's place for three days last weekend.  That meant hubbie and I had some free time together - wooeee, baby! I love my kids, but oh do I also love the freedom of not having that responsibility once in awhile too.

So, we packed in the frugal, uber-relaxed fun.  What do other lymies do for fun?  We are on a super tight budget, so spending in any big way is out - no shopping sprees, expensive dinners, movies and popcorn, hotel mini-vacations, spa days, etc.  And of course my fatigue and brain fog are huge still too (much better, but huge compared to a healthy person).  So we can't hike or run or zip line or anything like that either.

We ended up going to the beach for a wee walk in the water - just up to our ankles.  Heaven feeling the sand under my feet!  Water is super grounding for me too.  Then we sat on the beach for a long time.  Chatting and chilling.  We did actually go to dinner too.  But we tend to go to an organic, vegetarian place where you pay by weight.  So I get a LOT of salads.  Which I enjoy because I rarely have the energy to make these at home - a real treat.  And the food is actually safe for me to eat at this place.  We also went for a little walk around a downtown neighbourhood (my husband drove us there in the car).  We both love the architecture of the old houses as well as the lush, full gardens and mature trees in these types of neighbourhoods.  Inspiring. Tried to watch a movie one evening at home but we were too tired.  The evening before we went to a movie out - a real movie at the cinema!  This isn't in the budget, but we ask for movie gift certificates for birthdays and Christmas gifts.  A total mini-break from reality.

So these are our date night ideas... walks, a cheap and healthy bit of food out, nature that is close-by, a movie treat.  Sometimes we people watch too.  Sit on a bench in a busy area and just hang out.  Pretty fabulous considering I spent over a year primarily in bed and in pain, but I still wouldn't mind more ideas. 

(And of course all of this fun - with ample resting in between mind you! - resulted in the worst symptoms I have seen in awhile. Major word slurring, brain fog, more body pain, etc.  But I didn't care!)

I need to get to the coolest part of this post though!  We ended up at an end-of-school party for the kids near the end of June.  The host family happened to be a car-free family with a bunch of bikes.  Hubbie and I had previously played around with the idea of getting a tandem bike - so I could sit at the back, barely peddle, and not have to balance or steer.  I miss biking with my family! We searched for a bit on kijiji, but quickly realized that tandem bikes are pricey - way out of our budget.  And we didn't even know if I could actually do it.  Well, this generous family were going out of town on vacation and have just lent us a tandem bike for a few weeks!  We went for our first bike ride two nights ago.  The first time I have biked in literally years.

I adored it.  Do you remember how it feels to bike?  I don't even remember what it feels like to walk without pain - never mind run, or swim, or jump...   We went for a 20 minute ride.  It was scary and a little painful, but mostly massively awesome.  I could cry with the joy.  It's hard to absorb, it's that great.

Right now, for the record, I can walk for about 20 minutes on a usual, 'good' day.  And I'm sore, and sometimes feel like my ankles will give out, but I do it.  Riding in a car as a passenger - with pillows beneath and behind me - has the pain start at about 40 minutes into the drive.  At an hour it gets bad.  If the road is bumpy (Ontario roads!) I end up in tears from the pain. 

So being able to bike - just for a little bit - feels like a miracle.  Gratitude for little miracles!

Summer heat and the best Houttunyia/Enula rotation ever

It's been warm warm weather the last several days and I am in love with it.  Temps have been close to 30 degrees with a humidex closer to 40.  It feels so good to my body.  I'm not bundled up in a tonne of layers all the time - and still freezing.

I'm also doing fabulously well on this Cowden rotation!  As I mentioned in my last post, the Houttunyia and Enula are usually my roughest rotation.  Not usually actually - always.  I've just hit 26 drops and am feeling pretty decent. Relatively speaking of course.

The agitation and wanting to hyperventilate feelings seem to have passed for the most part too.  I don't feel completely settled and grounded, but it's way better.  I can nap more easily again.  My energy is such that I do have to sit and lie down for brief periods in the late afternoons and evenings, but not so bad that I'm in bed from dinner onwards.  I don't even want to be.

It's blowing-my-mind incredible. :)

So there is my update - I'm doing the best I have done in years and the hot weather is probably helping too.  My only concern centers around thoughts that perhaps I am going too slow on this rotation - taking too much time to ramp up the dosage.  I need to get to 30 drops and I'm already at 24 days.  If I followed the Protocol directions perfectly I would already be on my next antimicrobial rotation.

But that's what I have done for over 2 years.  And herxed like crazy the whole time.  My LLMD says I can try this as long as I still keep getting better.  I don't know how long it will take to know.  Willing to give it a few months to experiment though.

Too tired, but I can!

I'm grateful right now that I'm sitting at the computer on the main floor of our house while homemade granola cooks in the oven.  I need to stir it every 10 minutes.  It's on a timer.

It's 7:00 pm and I'm too tired to be doing this really.  But we have company coming for the weekend, and I try to prep everything (cleaning, shopping lists, yard work, meals, snacks, beverages, laundry, kids' homework, weekend To Dos... you get the idea) beforehand - starting a good week in advance.  All this so that I'm not too wrecked to enjoy their company.  This granola is a little last minute, as they are to be arriving in the next couple of hours.  But I know that I won't be able to do this plus cook breakfast, lunch and dinner tomorrow without being too tried if I put it off until the morning.

(And these sentences might not be making a lot of sense due to the lyme brain fog - apologies!  I can think the thoughts clearly in my head, but by the time I type them I get a little lost sometimes.  My head is fuzzy and it hurts.  My fingers aren't working perfectly on the keyboard.  But both body parts are still getting the job done - yay!).

Usually I get up in the morning and cook anything for the day right off the bat.  First thing.  When my energy is higher.  So I will get up on Saturday morning, take meds, wait, take more meds, lemon water, iodine in water, green juice or smoothie, vitamins, more vitamins, make breakfast for the family (steel cut oats tomorrow morning, with chia raspberry sauce, maple syrup, cinnamon, coconut oil - yum!), more vitamins (!), and then make dinner.  Vegan bobotie with rice for tomorrow (in case you were curious!).  Then I will rest.  Then I will take more meds, more water, and make lunch.  Then I nap.  This is how I structure my days.  It works.  It's great, for what it is of course.

So, yes, I am extremely grateful that I CAN do this.  That it is actually an option to do it.  I am too tired, but it shouldn't make me crash. Not today anyhow.  And I will rest right after this, before they arrive, as well.

I couldn't say this a year ago.  Maybe not even 6 months ago.

Progress.  Great healing progress.

Happy weekend!